Fearless!

Summer birthday parties  have entertained the Riley family for sure.  We went last night to help our friend Esther celebrate her 5th birthday.  We had a blast!  I have never seen a child like my Carson - not scared of anything (well except thunder!)  As soon as we got those "floaties" on him....SLIDE.  It wasn't long before that diving board looked like something he thought he needed to try.  None of my other children would have ever thought about doing that!  I think the only reason Ava did it now was because she saw her 3 year old brother do it.  I love the belly flop.  You can't hear it in the video, but every time he would come up he would say "Can I do that again?"   Enjoy.

Skating time!

We helped a friend, Savannah celebrate her 10th birthday last weekend.  We got to go skating!  This was Carson's first time on skates.  He would NOT let me hold his hand to help him.  He absolutely loved it. 

He did decide that he wanted to hold my hand as soon as I was persuaded into putting skates on by Caleb.  Caleb at the tender age of 11 thought he could out-skate his mom.  HA, I showed him!  I talked Carson into letting me skate one time by myself and brought out the old skills.  Caleb wanted to race and....BURN.  His "old" mama has mad skills on skates.  I was really glad I didn't fall.  A fall in these years is a lot different than in earlier years for sure.  Those 5 times around that rink brought back some of the funniest and best times.  I couldn't quit singing "We like the cars, the cars that go boom.  We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom!" Love those memories!  Fun times.  Fun times!

Fissures of the Heart

I have been going to a bible study with a small group of girls.  We have just started reading, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God: Experiencing Life in Extraordinary Ways, Lysa TerKeurst.  She talks about "discerning God's voice", how to know if it the voice of God or your own idea.  I don't think I ever put much thought into that before.  How do I know for sure if it is something I have dreamed up or if it really is the nudge of God telling me something? 
My story.....
Ava told me over the weekend that she misses me so much when I have to go to work.  This brought so many thoughts to me.  She lives in a house of 6.  It gets so crazy there, hence the name of the blog! haha.  I realize she gets pushed around with the crowd.  It is so weird to think you could feel alone in big crowds, but it is very easy.  Then I thought about the fact that she was 3 the last time I worked full time in the summer when she is out of school and would notice me being there or not. She probably doesn't even remember that as much as she recognizes it now. 
This morning she comes in my room and says she does not feel good.  She says her stomach hurts.  I am trying to get ready for work.  I go get a Tums and have her take it.  I tell her to lay down in my bed while I continue to get ready.  She keeps on whining.  I start thinking of her saying she misses me and how I am pretty sure that her saying she doesn't feel good means she wants more than a Tums thrown at her and to be left alone.   So I go in there and rub her hair for a few minutes.  I then go back to getting ready.  As she continues to lay there watching Tom and Jerry, I felt so bad for letting her feel alone, for taking her for granted, for being a working mom, for thinking a Tums will make up for all that.  I finish getting ready and go in there to tell her bye.  I give her a hug and big tears fill her eyes.  I sit her in my lap and hug her.  She starts crying.  I asked her if her stomach still hurts and she said, "no, I am just sad".  I tell her to think of fun things that we can do together and make a list.  Then we will plan something on Wednesday when daddy could take the boys and we can do girly stuff.  "We can go eat pizza or get our nails done" I say.  She said "I don't want to eat pizza or paint my nails."  I told her that was fine and that we could do anything.  She looks at me with her tear stained face and says "like play a game?"  The child just wants me to play with her.  She wants my time.  How loud does she have to scream that before I hear her?
It is so hard to balance a house.  I feel so guilty, like I have let her down.  I have let it go too far.  I imagine her feeling exactly how I feel at times, standing in the eye of a tornado.  It is calm, but everything is flying so fast around me I can't focus on anything.  I don't have time to think about one thing before the next is whizzing by.  I know how I feel as an adult.  Does she feel that way at 6?  Does she feel that way hearing "come brush your teeth", "come pick up your shoes", "come get your towel out of the floor", "come get your dirty dishes off the table", "hurry up", "we are late", "go get in the car...hurry...get your shoes on"?  It never stops.  Do I "shhhhsh" her too much?  All these questions that will reflect how a child at the tender age of 6 perceives her day to day, her life. 

I decide I will pray.  I will pray for the ability to discern God's voice in the matter.  I will pray to make the right decisions about the path of my career vs the path of my job (*correction- it is gift) as a parent.  Is this God's voice telling me that I need to work less?  Maybe full time is not exactly right for my family at this time.  Or just that I need to be more available?  If that is it, I pray for the answer on how to find more time and to be intentional with my time.  I pray to be dedicated all the time, not just at my convenience.  I know I am a good parent, but I also know there is always room for improvement.  Please pray with me. 

Fun at Camp PEE DEE

We just went for the day

and HAD A BLAST.

We started our day with the other campers at breakfast and then moved over and got moving with morning energizers!

Ava and her favorite Amanda!

Dancing, dancing, jumping, jumping and just acting plain old silly = FUN!

Caleb was not so sure he wanted the silliness! Haha.

or Josh.....

We then headed down to the horse barn.....

Ava and Julia trying to give KC a kiss!

Ava had to borrow some boots from a camper....Couldn't get much cuter than this!

 Ava on Chocolate

Caleb rode Cotton

Josh took his turn on Chocolate

Chocolate was ready for a spray down...it was HOT!

and now for the squeegee

 We then ate lunch, had FOB time (flat on back AKA rest time - my favorite =), had a snack, and headed to the pool.  We got to swim for a little bit...then some thunder.  We stayed in the air conditioning for the rest of the day for games.  We ate hot dogs and hamburgers and headed home.  Wayne and I took the day off to go.  I am so happy to have that time with the kids making memories.

Fun in the POOL

We are on year 2 with our Birthday POOL from Nana and Granddaddy last year. 

Thanks for fun in the pool N and G!

When the big kids are gone, the little ones will play....

Carson sat here for a while saying to himself "I can do dis."  I guess he had to talk himself into the pool!

Ava was just a little fish from the beginning.

Everybody got wet, including the picture taker!

Six Sweet Years!!

Celebrating!!!!!

Looking back.....

From brand new to stylish six!

What an adventure.  Every day is new and different with Ava Claire!  Thanks be to God for sharing her with us!  My cup overflows as does my heart! 

Happy sweet Birthday to my one and only princess.

Sweet Baby Boy Turns 3

I can't begin to express how unbelievably blessed I have been over my lifetime.  To think of one of the biggest surprises turning into one of the brightest lights in my heart!  Happy Birthday to Sweet Carson.

Thanks be to God.

 From now................to way back when.

 

I can't believe it has been 3 years from this day!  Life is good.  Drink it in.  Savour every moment. Live.

I love you so much sweet Carson.